June 2013. 6:24 in the morning somewhere in Belgium. After eight hours of back labor, no epidural, and basically laboring on the toilet the entire time (if you know, unfortunately, you know...), surrounded by nurses who didn't speak the same language as me ... my Aubrey was born. I felt her soul enter the room before I even got to hold her. Then they laid her on my chest ... covered in "cheese" and weirdly cone-shaped. The grumpiest looking little alien with a full head of dark hair.
I remember it like it was yesterday, but also like it was a lifetime ago.
And now she's turning thirteen. ThirTEEN.
I've been writing about Aub on the internet since before she was born. Some of you have been here since I announced the pregnancy in 2012 ... which means you've basically watched her grow up in real time alongside me, and I think that's one of the most beautiful and slightly unhinged things about having a social media presence. Strangers on the internet who genuinely care about my kid. I love that for her.
Aubs is sassy but empathetic. She is chaotic, but she pays attention. She is a kid who will absolutely roast you and also be the first one in your corner when it actually matters.
I said it the first time I met her, and I'll say it again now: when Aubrey was born, my life finally had a purpose. I wouldn't be who I am without her.
What has changed is that she's becoming her own person in this big, undeniable way, and it is the most amazing thing I've ever watched and also genuinely terrifying. She doesn't need me to hold her hand through everything anymore. She has opinions, questionable taste, and a whole personal life that I only get glimpses of. She even had her first solo travel field trip this year, despite my best efforts to bribe her out of it. (I'm actually so glad she went!) She is becoming someone.
I feel so lucky to watch her become who she is.
But also... thirteen? Already?
It feels like yesterday that I was pacing a hospital hallway in Belgium through contractions. That I was lying on my side watching her sleep with a pacifier in her mouth because I couldn't stop staring at her. That I was the brand-new, overly excited mom who couldn't stop posting her face everywhere.
Now I'm an older, still excited mom who occasionally peeks into her room at night just to make sure she's breathing. (Seriously, at what point does that particular anxiety go away?) Catching glimpses of a drool-covered teenager sleeping in a hot pink bonnet. (I love this generation of teens. 😆)
Some things never change. Other things change completely.
Happy birthday, my Aub.
You are the best thing I have ever done. You are everything I never knew I needed. And I love you more than you will ever know.
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