Kids won’t tell you that they are feeling burned out because they don’t always know what that means. What my daughter said to me instead sounded like “can I skip school?” and “I don’t know what’s wrong.” At first, I didn’t hear what she was really trying to tell me.

This week I let her sleep in on a weekday. She rarely ever sleeps in, so I just assumed she’d catch maybe an extra hour of sleep. She slept until 1 p.m. She wasn’t up late the night before and she wasn’t feeling unwell. I knew right then that she was emotionally exhausted, so we took a mental health day.

I cannot blame her for reaching the end of her emotional rope. This year has been so full of change for her and for all of us. Cyber school is mentally exhausting and being home this much is rough. (Unless you are a seasoned introvert.) Everything is so different this year and just thinking about it can be overwhelming. & When there is this constant worry about what might happen, it sucks the energy right out of you.

She has done so well this year and she has handled every situation with such a light heart. She is always so sweet and kind … I think that is why I didn’t notice how much she needed a little break.

Parents are not the only ones feeling the emotional weight of all this change.

Keep an eye out for phrases that might be red flags.

Do not be afraid to take mental health days for yourself and for your babies.

Life is strange and we are only human. 

We were able to book a 20 minute session and have the store all to ourselves to look around. There was so much to take in though! They had everything from Pusheen to Godzilla. I was a kid in a kawaii store. 

I can't wait to visit again and show my daughter this store. There was so much to look at, their pandemic precautions were wonderful, and the woman in the shop was the sweetest. 

They have an online shop HERE. You can purchase items online and they offer curbside pickup. ♥

Are things weird right now? I think things are weird right now. There is so much happening in the world and this feeling of uncertainty is running rampant. I wanted to share a list of tips that I use to ease my anxiety and depression.

1. FOCUS ON WHAT IS TRUE: Don't let your anxious thoughts send you spiraling down an anxiety rabbit hole. Focus on what is true and happening right now, in this moment. Think about your next step and your next step only. This helps a lot when I am feeling overwhelmed or in the middle of a panic attack. I actually came across this trick in a podcast.

2. DO NOT BUY INTO THE STIGMAS SURROUNDING MENTAL HEALTH: People with mental health disorders do not look a certain way. Anxiety doesn't care how pretty everyone says you are or what size pants you wear. Having mental health issues does not mean that you are 'crazy' or going crazy. It does not mean that a person is dangerous, unintelligent, or obsolete. & It does not mean that you are your disorder. You are still you.

3. ROMANTICIZE THE LITTLE MOMENTS: I love when people romanticize their lives. I think of it as enjoying little ordinary moments and really taking time to appreciate them. There is an Influencer//entrepreneur named Nabela who makes videos on TikTok that she titles "Pockets of Peace." In these videos she showcases the small parts of her day that bring her joy. They range from lighting her favorite candle to spending time with family. Her videos have mixed reviews though. Some people find them to be too cheesy, while someone like myself really enjoys the appreciation she has for coveting the small moments. 

 4. PRACTICE SELF-CARE: However that looks to you! Self-care looks different for everyone! Taking a shower can be self-care or even exercising. Some people love to read or have a warm cup of coffee alone. Others prefer facials and sweet treats. Do something for yourself! You deserve it.

5. TALK TO SOMEONE: One of the biggest things I learned about myself is that I try to handle everything on my own … including my anxiety and depression. Some things are really hard to carry all by yourself though. (Especially if you're like me and have more baggage than a Boeing!) Talking to a therapist is the best thing that I do to help my anxiety and depression. I am at my best when I have a therapist. You don't have to talk to a therapist though! You can talk to a friend, significant other, family member, me, or even a stranger through apps dedicated to helping people who need it ... I even talk to my pets some days. 

I learned these tips and tricks from my favorite self-help books, mental health blogs, podcasts and from a couple therapists. I hope some of them help! Life is weird for all of us right now. Hang in there. ♥

THAT IS A WRAP .... on my first internship!

I began a social media internship with a local YMCA back in August. I really didn't think too much about it. I just knew that internships look good and I needed to be doing something to help myself while looking for a new job. It also took the place of a social media class that I needed for my degree in Media/Business Communications. 

This was my first semester as a full-time student! It was … I was … It was overwhelming. & I still have so much work to do over the weekend for my finals. I am so thankful to have been able to take this time to knock out a couple of core classes that I was worried about though. 

& I really enjoyed this internship. I learned a lot about the analytical end of social media and really upped my graphic design skills. I want to work with social media in the future and this opportunity gave me the hands-on experience that I was looking for and the college credit I needed. ♥

It also expanded my resume and introduced me to some amazing professional references. It helps when you have a cool supervisor. 

This was really overwhelming to take on during a pandemic and with so much uncertainty around me. I definitely complained my way through a lot of it, but I am ... I think I am proud of myself?. IS THAT WHAT THIS FEELING IS? Huh. Nice. 

140 hour of work and over 100 custom posts ... 

2 new classes scheduled for Spring ...

Now I am ready for a break. ♥

All of these items were handpicked by my 7 year old daughter. ♥ 

1. UNICORN MASK: - Aubs had gotten a unicorn robe for her birthday this summer. She hadn't asked for it but I thought it was cute and thought 'why not?'! She wears it daily. She even sleeps in it some nights. I thought that this would be so cute to go with it. 

2. UNICORN SLIPPERS: - Same as above but perfect for the cold floors in our house during the winter months. 

3. MOUSE PAD: - This one I actually purchased because I couldn't help myself. She is obsessed with Corgis & Shiba Inus, & with school being virtual right now mouse pads are kind of necessary.

4. GEL PENS!:  - LOOK AT ALL THESE. I'm a 90's kid and I am so excited to try these. They have really good reviews and I can't wait to see what she draws.

5. ROBUX: - Aubs and all her friends are completely obsessed with Roblox. Robux let them buy items in the games. You can't go wrong with this one for a Roblox kid.

6. STICKERS: - I just think these sticker packs are really adorable. There are so many different kinds and they can be used for whatever they'd like. 

7. KARAOKE MIC: - For a little popstar. Maybe also consider buying some earplugs and Tylenol?.

8. WALKIE TALKIES: - I don't care how old you are, walkie talkies are fun! The end. 

There you have it! My daughter's 20020 Gift Guide. The rest of her Wishlist can be found HERE. 

My December did not get off to a great start. 

Yesterday I slammed my finger in the car door when I was picking Aub’s stuff up from the school. When I got inside the school I almost passed out when I realized how bad the damage to my finger was ... twice. I waved the guy out of the office just in case I did pass out. Then they brought down the school nurse who took my blood pressure and of course it had dipped low. 😶

I went to the walk-in clinic to get an x-ray. It is not broken! … but omfgoodness does it hurt and it is ugly. I think I'll be lucky if I get to keep the nail. Now I have a super cool bionic splint on it. Its honestly just a little piece of metal to keep my finger from bending. ✌️ Filling in my eyebrows with it on is an interesting process.

After that, a random dog wandered into my backyard while I was taking some photos. It turned out to be my neighbors new dog. She was a cutie and really sweet ... she did leave me a 'gift' on my kitchen floor though.

I ended the day with wine and pizza at my dad's house & I needed it.

Despite everything that happened yesterday, I couldn't help but laugh through it. What kind of a dingle crushes their finger in their own car door?! & Of course the adorable dog had to poop on the floor, right?! Then I couldn't even open my own bottle of wine because of my freaking booboo hand. It was a comically ridiculous day. I had to laugh at myself.

I also loved that despite it being a rough one for me, Aubs absolutely loved her day. We were able to grab her work from school. She got to miss morning classes and hangout with her family while I went for an x-ray. I brought her back a Happy Meal just in time for her lunch break. (She has been begging for one.) She got to play in the snow and then cuddle an adorably scruffy dog. 10/10 For Aubs.

Happy December! If it doesn't get any better, hopefully we can at least laugh through it.

I miss the food in Belgium! I clearly only ever photographed my desserts while I was living there but I miss ALL the food. I would do unspeakable things for a kip kapsalon right now. Or a sub from this shop near the town where I was living. It had a Pittsburgh sub on its menu! I miss the frite sauce and I would give up ketchup for the rest of my life if I could get my hands on some of their sweet mayo here in the U.S. 

The chocolate truly is the best and the ice cream … OH HOW I miss living within walking distance of an ice cream shop.

I miss the weekly outdoor markets where you could buy hot waffles or a rack of ribs right off the broiler.

Oh! & When the holiday season rolled around there was a Churro stand that opened in the middle of town. The guy who ran it COVERED them in so much powdered sugar.

I even miss the Bicky Burgers.

If you ever find yourself in Belgium, eat your heart out! Take photos of it! & Definitely mail me some snacks from the local corner store.

I shared this on my Instagram but I wanted to share it here too! ♥

I turned 29 last month. 29. I am a month into the last year of my twenties ... and I am still completely lost.

In March I had an interview for a job that would have been a perfect fit. It was a work from home gig that I could do while my daughter was at school and paid just enough to cover the bills. 

The day after my interview is when Pennsylvania shut down because of COVID. The owner (who is an amazing woman!) said that she would have given me the job on the spot if it weren't for covid.  Understandably, she didn't want to take on someone new in such an uncertain time. 

We kept in touch and last month we had a phone conversation. The direction of her business changed and she went from remote to an office location. I'm so glad that she was kind enough to call me and let me know but unfortunately I'm not able to be in an office right now. 

My daughter's schooling is 100% virtual. My schooling is also virtual. (I'm a full-time student this semester!) There is talk of her school reopening next month in October but I don't feel that it is safe enough for her to return yet, and she feels that same. It's also about to be flu season and this is usually the time of year when she brings home a nasty stomach bug and some kind of cold that gives her an ear infection. 

Because of the schooling situations, we are homebound.

I've been looking for remote job opportunities ... with no luck. The job market is over saturated right now and I am not as qualified as most. (At least on paper.)

Life has been pretty stressful and I think it's going to stay this way until December. (At least.)
It has me feeling like I'm lost ... again. 
I know that I'm not supposed to have it all figured out but COVID has me feeling more displaced than usual. Yahknow?! ( Even 6 months later.)

I'm going to wrap this up on a positive note.

Here are some of my silver linings:

• I will have my associates degree by the end of next year!
• I love social media and I'm working on finding a career that includes it!
• My internship will look great on my resume!
• I have enough saving to pay my bills while I figure things out!
• My boyfriend and friends are helping me fix up my house!
• Aubrey is safe and happy!

I can't ask for more than that last one.

Hope you all have it a little more figured out than I do right now! 

Tomorrow is the first day of Fall classes this year and it is the first day of my very first internship.

I am mainlyyy excited but I also have anxiety disorder, so I am terrified.

I am thrilled because I am taking classes that I know I will love 📷 and that I was genuinely worried about being able to attend before the pandemic. These courses weren’t virtual before covid and I remember sitting there crying trying to figure out how I was going to be able to get my degree if I couldn’t go to class. The classes were originally scheduled for times when I had to be at work or when I would have been picking my daughter up from school. As soon as I saw that they would be virtual I went for it.

However, … I did not realize that they would be held at certain times. My other online classes always started on a Sunday at midnight and gave me exactly a week to finish the assignments.  
Easy, breezy, beautiful.
This time I will have to be on my computer virtually attending classes on weekdays from 12-4.

My daughter’s schooling is also virtual this year and she will have a very specific schedule too.

I am definitely 100/10 worried about the first couple weeks while I try to find a good balance between my classes, internship, and my daughters schooling.

NEXT - I got an internship! I will be a social media intern for a local YMCA. I am hoping the experience will help me find the right path to a career that doesn’t make me sad.

AND for the anxiety cherry on top! I am not working. As if being low-income, a full-time mom, and a college student wasn’t hard enough. Now I am a no-income college student who also has to be a part-time elementary teacher.

The thrift store I worked for laid me off back in March. When I wasn’t able to schedule hours because I have to be home to care for my daughter (during a pandemic), they took it as a “voluntary termination”.

Finding a part-time work from home job that can work around my classes right now is about that same as trying to find toilet paper back in April. GG me.

I have what I need to care for my daughter though, and that is all I can ask for while I work towards finding balance and a new source of income. Please wish me heckin' luck. I know I will need it.

My heart is finally happy. ♥

… and I can’t believe it. ♥

A lot of you have followed me since I announced my pregnancy back in 2012 and now we are here … seven! It’s just … I can’t … woah.

When Aubrey was born my life finally had a purpose. We have been inseparable since they laid her on my chest seven years ago. I have only spent a small handful of days away from her since we first met, and I wouldn’t be who I am without her.

Aubrey is kind. She is smart. She is witty. She brightens any room and she will fill you with laughter. Aubrey is hilarious and clumsy. She is empathetic. She is understanding and always asking why. She is the perfect amount of cautious and sure of herself. She lifts people up and she loves deeply.

I am so blessed to be able to hold her hand through this life & I know that when I am no longer here to hold, she will continue to do beautiful, wonderful things.

For Aubrey’s birthday we had a small backyard party with our friends and family. We rented a bounce house for her and her best friend. She had the prettiest unicorn cake to blow the candles out on and then she got to have her first official sleepover with her best friend forever.

Her heart was happy and that is all I can ask for. ♥

♥ My boyfriend's sister makes these! I've seriously been living off of the calm tea for the past two weeks. I drink it daily. It works its magic with how stressed out I am, and it has peppermint which has been really helping me with my breathing. (I have shortness of breath and a tight chest from stress and allergies.) ♥

♥ He calms my anxiety and soothes my pain. He keeps me grounded while also encouraging me to reach for the stars. He sets my coffee pot to turn on at 7 a.m. and washes my dishes to help lighten my load. My MatT asks me about my day and listens to every detail. He writes music for me and sings with me in the car.

My Matt is an amazing role model for my daughter. He keeps her safe. He helps tuck her in at night. They work on homework together and read books. Last night he cared for her while she was sick. The way he treats me is the way I pray for someone to treat her someday. ♥

He has given me everything I've ever dreamed about. This love is all I've ever wanted for myself and for my daughter. I absolutely love what we have created. ♥